I think I hurt someones feeling, because that person cares much about me, and I don’t. Well, I used to, but now it’s different. and I can’t talk about this to anybody because obviously they’ll judge me since I’m the bad person here, my personality sucks when I’m with him. despite they didn’t know that I also judge so myself. I feel bad with my behavior towards him, but it hurts me too!
You might think that no one would understand this. that it’s not even the personality which is bad, it’s not constant, neither consistent in concencus, and neither is controllable, it’s is purely attributed, you behave distinctively towards this person as in exception.
Maybe you hate him for something and can’t forgive his mistake, it’s natural for girls to have a hard time forgiving. Research told that gilrs are. Girls cannot forget problem easily neither forgive the people have problem with even after the problems themself has been solved.
Don’t hate yourself because of that, you have privilege to feel that way you feel now. you have privilege to, but actually it’s not good for yourself. It’s hard for you too right? To be blamed by nobody but by yourself. You’re so precious dear that you need to be loved actually, and especially by yourself..
Love is unconditional, if no then it’s not. Don’t worry to receive love from other’s even if you didn’t feel like loving them back, because if they expect anything from you it’s their right to, and it’s your right no not feeling at all. But don’t hurt him, it’s already out of your boundary.
Take it easy of your self, don’t overthink like you have responsibility for eachbody’s feeling. That big task it’s not yours to begin with, it’s our task, human can bear, it’s God’s. If you got what I mean.